Random Ramblings

Remember, remember, remember…

Posted on: April 16, 2008

A creative writing teacher told me something that has stuck in my brain and I can’t shake loose!  When you feel as though you can’t think of something to write or don’t know what to write, start by writing the word remember 3 times.  Of course the class thought she may have dove off the deep end with that one, but we each tried it at some point throughout the semester and by golly, it works!! 

Supposedly if you start this way, something will eventually pop into your head to write about.  I have done this a few times and have had pretty good success with it!  Those journal entries were usually the best ones and the most meaningful.  It was strange how just writing one word three times would pull things out of you that you may have long forgotten about.  Let’s see what happens.

Remember, remember, remember.  I remember when I was on my way to the first day of fifth grade and I was eager to meet up with my best friend at the time, Stacie.  We hadn’t played together a lot over the summer and so I didn’t know what teacher she would have that year.  This was very important to me because we had been in the same class together every year since pre-school.  I remember walking across the playground with my pink bag stuffed to the brim with brand new school supplies.  When I finally saw Stacie I ran over and asked, with much anticipation, who her teacher was.  She said, Mrs. Carlson and was very excited about it.  I was crushed, sad and so angry that I slammed my brand new bag full of those brand new supplies on the ground.  I had Mrs. Temby, this was not going to be a good year, and I would have to endure it without my best friend sitting next to me. 

It’s almost funny that I chose to remember that particular story right now.  Apparently back then I didn’t like change either!  Things are always changing and I’d like to think that I handle change pretty well.  Of course there are times when things do not go the way I planned and I get upset.  People don’t always understand why I get upset; sometimes I don’t even understand why I’m upset it just sort of happens.  Of course it’s not good when I get upset because I have a tendency to fill with rage and get to the point where I just want to pummel something! 

I know in my head that getting physically violent is not the answer but at the point when it happens, I have to try sooooooo hard to control it, that it scares me!  I have put holes in walls before from hitting or rather kicking with force!  It’s almost like a blind rage that I cannot control.  It usually only lasts a minute or two and then I calm down.  I always feel terrible for what I did, and usually hurt myself when I do it.  I wish I could control these outbursts better but sometimes things make me so angry that it’s just a knee-jerk kind of response, without much thinking involved. 

This leads me to a thought that maybe I need to find a good way to de-stress sometimes.  When these incidences occur, it’s usually because I have been stressed about something and it seems like it has blown up in my face!  I want to find the time to de-stress, I need to find some time for just myself, but that is not always easy either.  Actually what has been a little bit of relief is this blog.  Writing has always helped me relieve a little stress but it’s not a cure-all.  I need to be taught what to do to really relax on my own.

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2 Responses to "Remember, remember, remember…"

I just tried to go to the park with the dog to de-stress. Instead it caused me more. He was growling and barking at things. So I brought him home. Now I’m going to go do it again without the dog. Hopefully It will go much better. I’ll try not to growl and bark at people when they walk by. 🙂

Justakrusen,

I hope you got your walk in!! I wish I could be outside right now, it’s beautiful here!

Thanks for stopping by!

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