Random Ramblings

Posts Tagged ‘Inspired

I apologize up front for how rambled this post may seem, but it is called Random Ramblings for a reason and tonight has been eventful to say the least.  For the most part my day had been quiet, mostly uneventful and full of channel surfing from one movie to another, usually before the good parts were past!  However it all started when my husband called and asked if I’d like to go out with him and his friend Scott.  I wasn’t sure, because I was quite content to sit at home and watch TV and possibly write a post for here!  I never imagined the post would be inspired by the events that took place in the last half hour. 

John and Scott who have been best friends since high school were at John’s work, a bowling alley and Scott had been drinking.  They wanted to go to a bar after John was done, so I agreed to at least drive them where they wanted to go.  When I got there John told me that Scott had been drinking since about noon and was in no shape to drive, which is why I was going to drop them off at a bar near home so they could walk home.  We were getting ready to leave and Scott said “I’ll meet you there!” and John told him that we could all go together in my truck.  Scott kept saying he’d meet us there.  John had to lock up so I told John I’d get him in my truck.  I walked outside and said, “If you get in your car and drive, I’m calling!” and Scott stopped, looked at me and I got in my truck.  He stood there a minute and then continued walking to his car, which was ok because the car had been running, so he at least had to turn it off if he was coming with us.  John came out and I told him what I had said, he was ok with it and said he wouldn’t stop me, not that he could have. 

When Scott’s car moved I told John to go talk to him.  John did and got back in my truck and told me Scott was driving.  I immediately dialed 911.  I told the dispatcher what was going on and as I did, Scott pulled around me and left the parking lot.  I got a late start following him while talking on the phone, and eventually a cop ended up behind me, I let him pass and followed while trying to give directions to a third party, that is not easy when the cop goes the wrong direction!  Eventually I got to Scott’s apartment where I thought and hoped he had gone, his car wasn’t there.  Then Scott calls John and tells him he’s at the bar we were going to go to.  I got out and told the cop where he was, the cop said they’d call me if they needed anything else.  I got back in the car and John wanted to go see Scott, I wasn’t completely for it but dropped him off anyway.  As John got out the cop called me back and I told him exactly where Scott was. He had a few more questions for me and then said he’d go in and talk to Scott to let him know they’d be watching his car and if it left, he’d get nailed.  I found it slightly amusing when I drove around to the other side of the bar and saw the cop I’d been talking to, I waved as I drove by and left, dying to come home and write this!

So I’ve been literally shaking for the last 45 minutes, almost hour now and am kind of proud of myself for doing the right thing!  I’ve always thought about saying that to people when I knew they shouldn’t be driving, I’ve just never had the courage.  I’ve always worried about the backlash from saying it, let alone if I ever really had to do it.  I wasn’t so worried tonight, I don’t know why, maybe I really thought he’d get in my car, maybe I’ve just broken out of one of my shells.  Either way, I am glad I stood my ground, even if Scott hates me for it.  John and I know what hell a DUI can put people in, he had one 2 years ago and it was his second.  It’s not a fun thing and Scott wouldn’t have the support system John and I did to deal with it. 

Now that I have done the right thing, it is making me think at a pretty rapid pace.  It is weird how sometimes there is such a high price for doing what is right.  Like right now Scott is furious with me, which I half expected, which makes what I did even more unbelievable, but I am hoping that once he calms down and sobers up that he will understand why I did it.  Not just for his safety but all the people he could have hurt in the process.  It really sucks how people get mad at you for doing what is right, when it doesn’t benefit them.  What I am glad about though is that I did have John’s support in calling, I don’t know what I would have done if he had tried talking me out of it, but he didn’t.  Now the one thing I don’t want is to be thought of as a tattle-tale.  That is not why I called, I was genuinely concerned about the impact Scott’s driving could have on any number of people, I was really glad that John didn’t get into his car with him.  This doesn’t mean that every time I am with friends and they have had a drink or two that I will call the cops on them, but I do hope they realize that if I say I am going to, I will.

I hope this ramble wasn’t too outrageous, I just had an inspiration to type and took it.  One thing I have learned is that from now on, doing the right thing will be easier adn I won’t be so concerned on the after effects, they will be what they will.  I do know that this experience tonight has made me stronger, even if only a little bit!

I am inspired to write today however I do not know how all this will come across, but I have to write it, maybe I’ll find some answers, maybe I won’t, all I know is that I feel a need in me to get this out.  It may come out as a really bad poem, or just a bunch of rambling, but you have been forewarned.  I make no guarantees of this making sense, especially if I don’t know if it will make sense to me, but here goes…

I’ve been caught staring off into space

I think my heart is broken into a million pieces
As I write this, the tears start to flow.
I have no idea what in the world to do.
I don’t know if I should even stick around.
I feel as though I am at a point in my life,
There are so many things I am terrified about.
I need somewhere to find the answers.
I can’t bear this hurt anymore, I’m about to crack.
I see dark clouds coming my way but can’t run.
What goes around comes around I believe.
Things that have happened before are coming
I can’t stop them, no one really can
The vicious cycle of life is out of anyone’s hands.
We just have to sit back and take what’s given
Too many things come flying at you quickly
It’s hard to make a definite prognosis yet
Do I follow my heart, if so which piece?
I am more confused right now more than ever.
The dark side is calling, extremely loudly.
I hate the other side of life, it sucks
Things are all turned upside down
Everything is wrong, sad and evil.
You can’t escape from it anyway
It has a strong hold on you, forever.
Why do tears hide so often?
Wouldn’t it help to cry? Yes
Why can’t I help myself?
Do I even know how? Yes
What am I going to do?
Things have to change and quickly or else.
I’ve been down this road before, sort of
Part of the road is familiar while most is unknown
The familiar isn’t even comforting at all.
This is a scary journey and I’m all alone.
If people are supporting me, I can’t see them
They hide like the stars during the day
My nights are not what they should be
The stars don’t come out anymore
They can’t break through the storming clouds
I’m scared, terrified, afraid, nervous, anxious.
Emotions are over flowing with no real exit
Bottled up for so long they wait to be free
Things are changing and I can’t make sense.
Sad, confused, unsettled, alone, miserable.
Keeping things hidden is what I’m good at
No one really knows the extent of it
I’ve tried to tell people, it hurts so much
The breaking point is so close to taste
Someday may be too late.

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